How to React when your Wife has been Unfaithful?
Unfortunately, infidelity is a reality that has been experienced by many of us (and women aren’t immune either – 25% of married men are unfaithful and 20% of married women are too). However, past the initial shock when faced with a horrible truth, it’s crucial to know how to react when your wife has been unfaithful. (1)
How to React when your Wife has been Unfaithful? – Did you See the Signs?
There’s no smoke without fire. When it comes to infidelity, it is usually true that the person who’s been unfaithful will often think about it for a while and in a moment of weakness (or not) the will succumb to temptation. However, with or without premeditation, infidelity is generally caused by an unstable and/or unhealthy relationship.
So, maybe you saw early warning signs? For example, your wife shared what was in her heart and her questions about the future, and you didn’t pay attention?
It can happen. However, you ought to know that women will share these emotional things and if they do so, it’s because they need to. Admittedly, it’s much harder for us to do the same. But it’s not impossible, like any skill, it can be learned.
Because if your wife doesn’t feel valued or heard, there is a very real risk that she will emotional disconnect from you. Thus, there’s a higher risk of infidelity.
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In the future, be patient, listen and be observant to see if any changes of behavior or personality occur. Especially, if she becomes distant with you. When you see it, you can talk about it before it gets worse. However, if you don’t, you will need to work on your observational and listening skills.
How to React When your Wife has been Unfaithful? – Understand the Cause(s)
Usually, the first reaction when faced with infidelity is anger and/or sorrow. And that’s normal, after all, someone you love and trust betrayed you. However, even if the pain seems overwhelming right now, know this, eventually it will get easier and you will have to confront reality.
Reality is never simple. Indeed, if your wife cheated on you, there must be reasons that lead to it. These reasons can be her own, from someone out of your relationship or linked to your relationship.
For instance, in a nightmarish scenario, your wife fell in love with another man. Moreover, if she has developed deep feeling for another person, it will be incredibly hard to overcome this new reality. More so, if the cheating has been going on for a while.
However, if the reason was purely sexual or came out from frustration, the damage done isn’t as devastating (still is, I know) and the possibility of rebuilding the relationship is way more probable.
Generally, infidelity is the result of a lack of something – it could be: a lack of novelty, of desire, of attraction, of charm, of excitation, of unknown, etc. These things need to be cultivated in a relationship to ensure a solid foundation.
Actually, if the lack of something is real, infidelity becomes more understandable. However, I didn’t say forgivable, that is up to you and no one but you can make that leap.
How to React when your Wife has been Unfaithful? – Be Compassionate but Stay Realistic
After communication and establishing facts on both sides, a choice will have to be made. Let’s not be afraid of words, infidelity is heartbreaking and will tear your soul apart. Especially, if you didn’t suspect it.
However, when dealing with uncontrollable feelings, you will need to control your anger. Indeed, mental or physical violence is the WORSE reaction one can have. Moreover, it’s punishable by law. So, to avoid breaking your relationship forever, avoid violent words or acts.
Faced with the facts, you will need to keep as cool as possible and if you can’t, get out, go to the gym or go meet a friend or a relative. Also, when applicable, you will have to understand what has lead your wife to be unfaithful. Consequently, if her explanations are satisfying, you will have the possibility to rebuilt what has been destroyed. If that’s not possible, you will have behaved like a grown-up and you will continue to grow as a result.
No matter what, you won’t have to ask yourself how to react when your wife has been unfaithful – you will be able to. If you lose your shit, get out and find support before doing something unforgivable.
Infidelity is one of the most soul breaking things that can happen but you can heal.
However, there’s no coming back from violence. Once, it’s done, no one can’t take it back.
How to React When your Wife has been Unfaithful? – Conclusion
I hope that this article will help you figure out how to react when your wife has been unfaithful. However, nothing replaces intuition and I can assure you that it isn’t just a women thing. So, if you truly believe that your relationship can be rebuilt, try to. But if your other half isn’t ready to deal with a future with you, do not bother.
I wish you strength and also, do not forget, the pain won’t last forever!
(1) Attachment Insecurity and Infidelity in Marriage: Do Studies of Dating Relationships Really Inform Us about Marriage? V. Michelle Russell, Levi R. Baker, and James K. McNulty. J Fam Psychol. 2013.