Now, more than ever, we have to fit a certain standard, we are “modern males”. What on earth does that mean?! Well, to make it simple, it’s the idealized portrayal of the clean cut man that you see on TV or the web. In fact, it goes like this: the modern man is brilliant at everything and on top of that, he’s handsome, strong and manly. Additionally, he’s successful and obviously, he’s a god in bed! We can’t lie, we aren’t very kind to men who don’t perform well in the bedroom. Not everybody necessarily fits the previous criteria and that’s a problem. As a result, when it comes to sexual performance, we are our worst enemies! That’s why I made a list of the best tips to be great in bed… for everyone!
A Quick Reminder of What Sex Should be Like…In Real Life!
“Performance” is rarely a word that puts us in a good place. Unconsciously, this word just brings an added pressure that we could easily live without. You must know it… the anxiety of having a hard erection that lasts long enough and a “machine” that has to work all night long. Additionally, we have to think about our partner’s pleasure and if we don’t, they won’t let us forget. Moreover, being “stuck up” is a definitive no-no and if you don’t dare to brave the 999 positions of the Kama Sutra in half an hour, you are nowhere near the successful modern man. Oh sh**!
It feels that coitus has become an intellectual activity of sorts. We have to think about every single detail and that’s the direct result of the pressures of our society.
Well, I have amazing news for YOU! You don’t need to calculate a single thing to have fun in bed. As a matter of fact, minimal thinking is highly recommended if you wish to have fun! It makes sense, right? Sexual intercourse should be intimate, animal, respectful and most importantly, it should bring both partners pleasure while letting go…everything else.
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Let’s learn to do just that with the following tips… Trust me, if you follow them, your sexual life will blossom and you, my friend, will be GREAT in bed!
The Best Tips to be Great in Bed – 4 Amazing Tips
To fully enjoy the pleasure of sex, whether it’s in the bedroom or on top of your desk, you’ll need to disconnect yourself from the world. Literally and figuratively.
First, switch off or mute all of your electronic gadgets (tablet, smartphone, laptop, etc.). That definitely requires some planning, therefore, it only works if you’ve got a romantic date. If something spontaneous happens, just chuck your gadgets quickly out of the room. And if you don’t have time for that, forget about them. Period.
Which, is a perfect segue for my next point…to make love or have intense sex, you have to disconnect from your daily life. Thus, if you don’t have time to “disconnect” your gadgets, you better be disconnected to have fun spontaneously.
What part of your brain do you have to switch off? It’s the frontal lobe, the centre of logic and problem solving. And great news, you don’t need to be a meditation expert to do that! You just need to stop thinking about money or family worries and actively be in the present moment. Remember, you’re getting sex!!!
While we are in the brain, the part that is the most interesting for sweaty adventures is the limbic system, it controls your emotions and instincts. Consequently, to fully use that primal part of your brain, you need to let go and let the animal side of yourself freely roam your partner’s body. Don’t be afraid of it. It doesn’t mean that you will cease to communicate!
Don’t be Judgemental
Meanwhile, when roaming the sensual pastures of your other half, remember to listen. Let her have the freedom to express herself whether it’s physically or with words. Being open to different desires and sexual stimulation will make one hell of a lover out of you! And if you don’t believe it, science confirmed it! (1)
Remember, that it’s not about forgetting what you want and forcing you to do things you don’t want to do. It’s all about communication, open-minded communication without taboos. You’ll be surprised at the number of things you will learn to love because you have allowed yourself to!
Innovate & Discover
It will be impossible to be great in bed, if you always follow the same sexual routine. If you stick to the familiar, you won’t be taking risks and that means, that you will never discover new sexual worlds.
Creativity is essential to have a very satisfying sexual life. Face your fears head-on, regardless of the unknown element. You might love role-playing but how would you know if you don’t try?
Try and if you don’t like it, stop. That’s it.
Trust in Yourself & Be Patient
Charisma is a solid weapon that makes girls swoon. Nonetheless, you may have observed that some guys aren’t that handsome and yet, their inner confidence radiates and wins hearts (and bodies). When you work on your trust in yourself, let go and face your fears, you will be showing to the world that you can be trusted. The same principle applies to sex, when you are fearless in front of your partner, you are showing your desire clearly and that you know what you’re doing.
What happens if you don’t know?
Nothing bad, life is a continual learning curve. Your confidence will compensate a lack of experience or maybe, a physical complex. Those aren’t the things that create an unforgettable intimate moment!
Finally, take your time. Sexy times aren’t a marathon. This is a moment for sharing and patience will allow you to do things right. Enjoy foreplay, discover the body of your partner, her smell, the lines of her curves and every little thing that makes her unique.
Free and allow yourself to savour sensuality, you will see it won’t go unnoticed. Women appreciate tenderness and thoughtfulness. (2)
Follow the rhythm of your bodies, feel it and relax. That’s it, relax.
Follow my 4 best tips to be great in bed in no time and continue reading our articles regularly to develop your sexual knowledge!
(1) Sexual Arousal and Desire: Interrelations and Responses to Three Modalities of Sexual Stimuli. Katherine L. Goldey, Sari M. van Anders. The Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2012.
(2) Actual and desired duration of foreplay and intercourse: discordance and misperceptions within heterosexual couples. Miller SA, Byers ES. J Sex Res. 2004.