How to Become an Alpha Male

How does one become an alpha male these days ? Actually, this question is nothing new but today, many of us are wondering just that. How can I become an alpha male?

However, the answer isn’t exactly straightforward. There is no magic recipe to turn us into The alpha male. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean there is no hope. As a matter of fact, there are many things that can help to develop a certain aura… or in less mystical terms, charisma.

Let’s take a look at the stereotypical alpha male: he dates gorgeous women, he has many good friends, a fascinating work, exciting hobbies and generally speaking, he has everything one could dream of. A life that is both rich and fulfilling.

I know men who really have all of the above and sometimes more. These guys are full of passion and in charge of their own destiny. However, don’t believe they are perfect. All of them failed a LOT during the course of their lives. But they used their failure productively in order to progress, no matter what.

Now that you are ready to become an alpha male yourself, let’s have a look at what it takes to become one.

How to Become an Alpha Male – A Practical Guide

Ok, you want to become an alpha male, the one you always dreamed you would be. I get it. This childhood guy was maybe a CEO, an actor, an astronaut, a professional poker player, an athlete, a politician, an intrepid traveler, a fireman, a famed artist or any other profession that is admired by many.

However, it isn’t the job that defines a charismatic and dominating man. In fact, there are certain personality traits that we can all develop to wake up the alpha sleeping in us.

Check the following “alpha” advice and try it for yourself.


Sure, this seems obvious but clearly, it’s not always the case. The confidence that I’m talking about isn’t a superficial one. For example, the confidence that emanates from a good looking dude who knows the effect of his own beauty. In this case, it’s a confidence in your being, hence why we call it self-confidence.

Self-confidence is an unwavering faith in your values, your achievements, your skills and everything that makes you, you. It’s a quiet force that should never be mistaken with arrogance. Arrogance is the expression of a lack of self-confidence. Most people want genuine men around them, trust me, no one really trusts an arrogant man.

Let’s go back to self-confidence. Firstly, it’s primordial to develop a sense of self-worth. In order to do so, you will have to be honest with yourself and I mean, you’ve got to get naked and take a real hard look at yourself! You will need to be brave and follow what makes your heart beat slightly faster. You will need to accept defeat and go back into the battle.

I’m not saying that it will all happen overnight but self-confidence is a job that takes a while. So, start now, believe in that little voice (no matter how small) and DO IT.

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Stand on your Position and Actions

When you are talking, be assertive and stand on your position. However, to convince those surrounding you, you better know what you are talking about. If you don’t, you will lose something precious: credibility. Also, that works when you don’t know something, say it and don’t be ashamed. No one knows everything about everything.

The crux of it all? Don’t doubt what you say and do. If there’s doubt, others will see it too.

Develop your Sense of Humor

You might have noticed that alpha males tend to have an impeccable timing when it comes to a joke. They know how to use humor to their advantage without overdoing it. Because, no one wants to be the “clown”.

What’s important is to develop a form of personal wittiness by learning to make fun of yourself (reasonably) and not taking certain things too seriously. For instance, you can also gently make fun of a mate if you do it without sarcasm or meanness.

Being witty and having humor isn’t something that only a few can have. Whether your sense of humor is dry, puerile, sardonic or darkly, go for it. Additionally, you can read books of humorists you admire to help you out.

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Non-Verbal Communication

Saying and doing what’s the right isn’t enough to project a dominating image. There’s something far more obvious and it says a lot about you, very quickly: your posture and your non-verbal language. When you think about it, an alpha male has a straight back, his body moves graciously and he doesn’t apologize for taking the space he needs.

Those signals are immediately detected by others, sometimes consciously, sometimes not. Therefore, it’s incredibly important to improve posture and the way that you move (walk, move your hands, having a high head, etc).

For instance, if your walk can be improved, you could start by imitating someone that you admire and mimic his walk. It won’t be an automatic change but with a bit of practice, it will become natural. (1)

This is also true for facial expressions. Having relaxed features and a honest stare (looking straight into whomever your talking to) is important, especially when conversing. In addition, avoiding to put your hands in your pockets regularly can also help, not being perceived as slightly arrogant.

How to Become an Alpha Male – Conclusion

The advice above will help you grow as a person and eventually, into an alpha male. However, it requires many other things to get there, some of them, you will find out by yourself and others with a bit of help.

Among these other things, you will find other helpful things like: learning to listen to others, avoiding judgment, observing to learn, taking care of your body (in & out), exercising regularly, being honest, improving clothing, developing new skills, etc.

Now, those are things that can also help you on the long run. The best advice I can give you is to be patient and proactive. Start progressively and you will see that for every step taken, new positive things will appear in your life. Let’s start now!

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1) Nonverbal behavior and nonverbal communication: What do conversational hand gestures tell us? Robert M. Krauss, Yihsiu Chen and Purnima Chawla. Columbia University.

Vincent Lee