“I don’t satisfy my wife in bed”. That’s what an acquaintance recently admitted to me. Of course, he knew what I do for a living. So, this article is for him and for countless of other males in distress, in the hopes it can give you REAL solutions to improve your current situation.
Just a heads up: it happens to all of us – don’t let the shame grow, it’s pointless. This situation can be improved upon and with a bit of perseverance and imagination, you can have a GREAT sexual life!
Now, take a look at the following advice – these are things you ought to avoid or introduce into your routine to improve your sweaty/sexy times with your other half.
I Don’t Satisfy my Wife in Bed – Don’t Do the Following
To know what to avoid, you have to be interested in women and more specifically, in what matters to them when it comes to sex. Nowadays, always being the alpha male isn’t an obligation, you can also show some of your sensibility, especially in bed. The following advice may not apply to you but keep them in mind. If you have a doubt, ask your partner in life, she knows you!
Go from “I don’t satisfy my wife in bed” to “I’m a beast in bed” thanks to the following. Let’s start with the mistakes you should never do in bed…
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Coming Too Soon
I know, that one seems obvious. However, if you come before your partner comes, she won’t be satisfied. It’s as simple as that. In an ideal world, you would both come at the same time – and it can happen. Nonetheless, when it doesn’t, you will need to focus on your performance.
Particularly, you will need to work on how to make your erections last longer – start with those 4 habits to improve performance, click here to know more!
Having Bad Hygiene
Sex is the ultimate intimacy. Therefore, leftovers of sweat and urine aren’t great in bed. If you are in dire need to clean yourself, go ahead. She will greatly appreciate it! And don’t miss any bits…you know what I’m talking about – those pesky corners!
Also, don’t forget to take your socks off. Socks are not sexy.
Exiting Foreplay Too Soon or Going Straight for the Kill
Let’s preface this paragraph with: wildfire explosive sex doesn’t count. In most cases, foreplay is a must and shouldn’t be disregarded as a simple warm up. For those who don’t know it, a woman has a lot more erogenous zones (the “exciting” buttons) than the boobs and the vaginal area.
Foreplay is an excellent way to get acquainted with every single inch of your partner and vice versa. Delight yourself in the peculiarities and softness of her skin. Try using your tongue in places that have never seen it before (ears, belly button, etc.). Trust me, you and your partner will be burning with great desire…and if you need to control your erections better, this will also help. Win win. (1)
Stimulating the Clitoris too Harshly
Unlike women, our desire tends to come suddenly and explosively. However, if you stimulate your wife’s clitoris too fast and not with the delicacy it deserves, you won’t get into the following magical world.
Firstly, wait for the adequate moment to go down and in doubt, ask cheekily. Treat the magical button as you would treat the head of your penis, with caution and gentleness. Get ready to be acrobatic with your tongue and you can always use your fingers to play around (do wash them beforehand). Be creative and explore!
Avoiding Eye Contact and Kissing
If you struggle with eye contact with your own wife, that’s problematic. Looking into your partner’s eyes is similar to holding her hand while walking around. Consequently, an evasive stare will make her think that you would rather be somewhere else or worse…be with someone else. If you are here, I’m pretty sure that you don’t but maybe she isn’t sure.
The same goes for kissing. Women enjoy passionate kissing during sex and trust me, if you do it right, you will too.
Asking Inappropriate Questions
When anxious, avoid focusing on what you are doing. Control is the friend of anxiety and the enemy of good times in bed. Try to focus on what you are feeling and see how your partner responds to what you are doing.
However, if you are unsure about something, ask her. For instance, you could say: “do you like it when I use my tongue like that”. Simple, don’t overdo it. In addition, avoid asking her how she feels emotionally, this might kill the mood.
I Don’t Satisfy my Wife in Bed – Things that You Can Improve
The following list is a mix of common sense and creative thinking when it comes to sexy times:
- Clean your room and flat or house. A messy place isn’t hot.
- Find yourself a discreet and hygienic place to disregard condoms, if you use them.
- Be delicate and considerate if you like to bite. Especially anything booby or vagina related.
- If she’s going down on you, be gentle with her head and most importantly, don’t pull her hair. Real life ain’t porn my friend.
- If your beard is a few days old and rough, get rid of it. If not, don’t play down there without consent, it could literally hurt.
- Listen to your woman, you are partners, communication goes both ways.
- Anal surprises are a bad idea if she’s not aware. Always ask, you know, just in case.
- If your partner is having a bit of a red alert, don’t be grossed out. It’s natural after all. Actually, if you don’t like it, say so like a grown-up man. However, there’s always the shower/bath alternative…
- Never, ever thank your wife/girlfriend after sex or ask her if your performance was good. Just don’t.
- Enjoy post-coitus time in bed with or without talking, just be there. If she counts for you, stay.
- Don’t take any pictures or video without consent. If she ever finds out, she might not forgive you.
- And last but not least, try to reduce masturbation to improve your sexual performance… trust me, it works!
(1) Actual and desired duration of foreplay and intercourse: discordance and misperceptions within heterosexual couples. Miller SA, Byers ES. J Sex Res. 2004.